Binary Review #30 - Organic Chemistry
Ask an organic chemist to define their field of study and they will gladly fill your head with their big fancy words, technobabble and other such nonsense. You will be serenaded with their sweet talk of 'hydrocarbons' or 'organic compounds' and verbally assaulted with purely fictitious terms such as the ‘acid dissociation constant’, the 'Van der Waals bond' or the 'metric system'.*
Do not be taken in by these lies dear friends, no matter how logical they may be, for logic is a fool’s game. The truth is faraway simpler (Or should I say Faraday? #lamesciencejoke); organic chemistry as we know it doesn’t really exist.
'Organic chemistry' is just a front for an ancient order of immortal sorcerors who have long ago woven their arcane and sinister influence into every level of society and pull the strings that operate our puppet lives. Picture the Illuminati, but with organic chemists.
What we know as 'chemistry' is in actual fact, magic, crafted through dark and exotic rituals and wielded from the shadows by our invisible overlords. To understand the secrets of organic chemistry is to understand madness itself.
With all that said, all the secrets and lies exposed and the truth laid bare for all to see, I have nothing but the utmost respect for an ancient order of immortal sorcerors that has managed to control the world while outwardly appearing to be mostly overworked, sleep deprived, caffeine-fueled organic chemists.
*Shouts out to my boy, about.com’s organic chemistry glossary of terms.
file this under figurative requests to file internally referential blog posts